The results are in... 67 books in 2009. I'm going for 75 in 2010.
For now, I've got to get the cats to stop fighting... But my dream of reviewing each book I have read last year should also start coming true. Once I find time. I seem to have misplaced it.
Recently:
Celebrated Christmas with a fustercluck-load of family.
Celebrated New Year with Brother and Co.
Celebrated my first New Year with Sergey and his family...
Pretty sure his grandma still would rather I was a sweet Jewish girl. His grandpa? He gets a kick out of me... if our short English vs. Russian conversations we have a lot of fun.
It’s that time again… The time of year that I make the list of my goals for the upcoming New Year. As usual, I revisit my last list and go from there.
Things I did not do in 2009: I did not start reading the news more. I did not get anything published. I did not write something every day. I did not get more organized.
Things I did do in 2009: I did travel. I did try new things. I did take a big risk. I did pay off my credit cards. I did get healthier (but not before I gained 10 pounds…).
I guess that’s not so bad. I can’t expect to do it all, can I? It’s really just a wish list.
So without further adieu, here is my list for 2010.
1. Write something every week. Apparently writing something daily was too big of a task for me. Instead, I am going to challenge myself to write something each week. I don’t care what it is. Blog posts don’t count. I need to just write something down. Save it. Maybe never even look at it again… just so long as I do it.
2. Organize all things Musical Kitten. It goes without saying that I’m pretty clustertastic when it comes to my online business. Only recently did I organize everything to the point of separating the completed project and the supplies from each other. It’s made filling orders so much easier. However, my financials are still a mess. I have a folder of receipts from supply purchases… I have a folder of invoices from orders… I have another folder of invoices that were paid to me from big orders… And nothing is in a good file. I need to get this in order before I file taxes, so this is top priority at the moment.
3. Continue to grow healthy. It’s been nothing short of a miracle that I lost 13 pounds in a month and a half. When I started going to the gym I was 156. I’m now 143 with an end of year goal of 140. My end of year goal for next year is 135. If I can get my goal weight and keep it off, I will be incredibly happy. I know my body image is something that has always bothered me. If you asked me, I’d go down to 120 if I could… but it’s just a number. I also have a goal to be able to jog by the end of next year. I’m getting the ol’ ticker in shape!
4. Visit Carl. It’s been a year since his visit here and I promised a visit to him in 2009. I failed. I’ve got to keep my word to him. I can’t let a good friend down. Carl means a lot to me and he has since we started talking in 8th grade. I love him to death and would love nothing more than to get to spend some more time with him in New York.
5. Get over it. Sounds cryptic, right? It should. It’s been almost two years and it’s time to let go. This means not bringing it up. This means not talking about it. This means healing and moving on. It’s hard to heal when I still have such horrible memories about it and when it keeps being brought up by friends and family. When I throw an item away, I don’t want to be asked. When I stop a conversation, I don’t want to explain why. I don’t want to talk about it or him any longer. My emotional wellbeing needs this. My hope for my future love life needs this. For me to be entirely happy, I need to get away from those years of my life, allow myself to heal and move on. I have such unexplained lingering anger that bursts out of no where and causes horrible nightmares. I need this all to just stop. This will be the year of purging myself of that poison. It can’t control me anymore. It controlled me for far too long already.
6. Try new, challenging knitting patterns. Lame, I know, but knitting helps de-stress me. I also like to claim I’m bad at things before I ever challenge myself to try something more. In the coming year, I want to knit myself a somewhat complicated top. I can do this. I can read patterns. It will be fantastic.
And that’s all I can think of right now. Perhaps, more to come.
Enough is enough - you feel frustrated and rejected. You are fighting back and the going is tough. It would be just wonderful if you could be left in peace.
You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image. You need for those people in positions that matter to recognise your potential and to acknowledge you.
You are prepared to establish a particular relationship that is being made available to you at this time. It could be a satisfactory liaison but there could be a certain amount of conflict involved -try to avoid direct confrontation at all costs.
All of the stress and strains resulting from disappointment have led to agitation and anxiety. You have been going out of your way to make a good impression, but you have reservations as to the likelihood of succeeding. You feel that you have a right to accomplish all that you set your mind on but you have become helpless and distressed when circumstances have gone against you. The idea of failure is most upsetting and this can even mean utter dejection. You see yourself as a scapegoat and you feel everyone in your sphere of influence has tried to take undue advantage of you. You are trying to convince yourself that your failure to achieve standing and recognition is not of your making but indeed of those around you.
At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt. Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliche 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?
